By Kayemba Emmanuel
It’s a a fortnight now, ever since our beloved late former right honorable speaker of the Ugandan parliament passed away.
Lokomoli was a good man by Ugandan standards (some people have Gavi funds written all over their fore heads and others have feasted away Murrum and tarmac roads…. Some people are too greedy. How can you eat tarmac! ). And above all he was a staunch Christian who tried to follow biblical teachings up to his death bed.
Unfortunately he died in a foreign land fulfilling a prophecy that happened a million years ago to a Jew.
This Hebrew man died in Africa, a foreign country and continent just like our own Yakobo who died in Seattle USA.
Huge amounts of government money were spent on these two in their respective travels to these foreign countries and transport was provided by their kings. Unlike the jew, its still unknown why the African never returned back home vertically and I wonder why some citizens celebrated his demise.
There is nothing African about it, Africans are taught to respect the dead no matter their positions in the real life before.
We are still waiting for the official release of postmortem reports of the African, however according to a certain tabloid, Dad Yakobo is convinced his son died from unnatural causes…( For example lightening, poisoning yourself or bewitching yourself or anything unnatural), but since he is not a doctor, we can’t be sure. However, let us wait for the official report.
Anyway I just prefer natural taxi vehicles to unnatural free ride drones! Everything is unnatural in Uganda!!!
The deputy…
It’s great to know that the biblical Yakobo never had a deputy (the Bible is silent about it).It seems, the word deputy means those people who will automatically and officially desire what you have after you die(or before) .
A deputy is also a person who is accepted by different governments to both cry and be happy in an official way when their bosses die.
Why cry?
Because someone has died (the big fish)
.
Why happy?
Because they have a chance to be the big fish now.
Ugandans who never knew what a deputy means where surprised when a deputy contested for the same (am not sure which post) .
As you know a deputy is supposed to cry and also be happy when the boss dies….so if you see me smiling on someone’s burial just know am doing the hardest task in life of being his deputy.
All of us are guilty of this terminology called “deputy”…..
We have done the deputy thing to friends and family and we benefited a lot…..
Some one will always smile in the disguise of his or her hand fist at your burial…..
Some local deputies will cry openly while eating porridge and may go on and ask for more sugar to be added in the porridge as they cry. Maybe sugar helps in the formation of crocodile tears, am not so sure.
What if you have more than one deputy!
It means more people are likely to be happy on your burial.
It means more people are praying for your death and remember the Hebrew God answers those who petition him unceasingly..
If your deputy is a Muslim,he will petition God five times for your position on average.
If he is a Born again Christian,, he will petition God non stop asking for the same thing thirty times in a Single prayer.. And if he speaks tongues, my boss just resign!
A catholic will wait for the lent period and you will witness the power of the rosary and the pope.
And what if he is a Witch doctor……
Am not sure about the standard operating procedure of Witch doctors maybe we shall ask mama Fina……but she cried miserably when her hubby died! rest in peace bwana afende(lusoga version of afande)
The prime Minister and many deputies!
This prime boss has many deputies and I still don’t understand why she has all those deputies….. Maybe it’s the justification of the law or it’s a tactic of divide and rule where the deputies will spend most of the time fighting themselves and won’t focus on the real definition of the word deputy!!(those who wish for what you have)
Being a prime minister in Uganda with three deputies is not an easy job!
However one of the deputy is contented with being a deputy for life (this former soldier and a full general was chased away from the late Nebanda’ burial) and the other deputy is busy doing East African work(I heard rumors that she doesn’t attend sessions as per honorable Nganda’ findings) am yet to know if we have a third deput….
But their once lived a deputy
He was a thin tall figure who was contented with life and much satisfied with being just a deputy.
He had seen governments come and go and he knew anytime he will go just like those governments he had witnessed…..
And to many he was an epitome of Pan Africanism
Rest in power Hajji Kirunda kivenjinja.
You never exhibited traits of the word deputy at all or maybe you just didn’t know what was expected of a deputy….
As I conclude, I beseech all of us to be good deputies and try to learn as much from our bosses so that in case we are told to step in their sandles(if it’s a poor position) or shoes (big fish positions) we won’t be half capable.
Next time I will tell you why Jacob was the definition of a true deputy even when he was fought!!!
yembaem@gmail.com
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